Two women, two takes: Is it wrong to want to look forever young?
Society’s conception of aging has evolved considerably over the years—a 50-year-old singer today may not look the same as a 50-year-old woman in a 1980s sitcom. There’s a lot to consider when it comes to the reasons why. We’re living in a time when scientific advancements and medical discoveries have given us the gift of eternal youth, or at least the illusion of it. From Botox and buccal fat removal to fillers and facelifts (not to mention wrinkle-fighting skincare products), there’s no shortage of ways to fight the telltale signs of aging, if you want to.
In honor of Women’s History Month, we’re celebrating a woman’s right to age whichever way she wants. We spoke to two women who are somewhat on opposite sides of the coin when it comes to aging: Lenora, a 42-year-old producer and advocate in LA, and Alyson, a 45-year-old acupuncturist and owner of Moon Phase Acupuncture based in Woodland Hills, CA. While Lenora is pro-plastic surgery and aesthetic treatments, Alyson has never really considered them. Ahead, our conversation with Lenora and Alyson about their thoughts on aging, the shame around aesthetic treatments, where they’d draw the line and more.
What does “aging gracefully” mean to you?
Lenora: I support any way a person chooses to age, but Dolly Parton said it best: “If I see something saggin’, baggin’ or draggin’, I’m gonna have it nipped, tucked or sucked…I’m like a cartoon! I’ll look this way when I’m 80.”
Alyson: Looking like your true self, only an older version.
What are your thoughts on injectable treatments like Botox and filler?
Lenora: I think Botox is awesome, and filler can be, in moderation with a skilled injector. I started Botox at 30 and I have zero regrets. I’m very cautious with filler, but I’ve definitively dabbled.
Alyson: Botox and filler have become so popular in the past several years, especially where I live and work in Los Angeles. Botox seems to be an easy and effective way to reduce wrinkles, although the price tag and frequency of the treatments is somewhat concerning.
Filler is a whole other animal in my opinion. I’ve seen it done well, and also not so well. It’s a risk so therefore finding the right injector is key. I don’t think it falls into the aging gracefully category since it’s somewhat of a change in your natural appearance. But like anything is this realm, I believe you should do whatever makes you feel good and most yourself. I’ve always believed in self expression with appearance.
Up until recently, I never thought I would be interested in using artificial enhancements for myself. I wanted to let nature take its course. Also, the idea of injecting toxins into my body wasn’t appealing to me. I try to avoid pharmaceuticals unless absolutely needed, I try to eat fairly clean and use clean beauty and household products. I try to keep my toxic load low.
So what changed my mind? A few months ago, I turned 45. Leading up to my birthday, I found myself having a hard time with that. I’ve noticed myself physically aging over the years and it started to bother me. I decided it’s something I want to try and if I don’t like it, I’ll stop. The great thing about taking this leap of faith is it doesn’t last. Also, one of my friends is a reputable injector and I trust her completely.
What about less invasive treatments, like peels and lasers? Or more invasive, like facelifts. Where do you draw the line?
Lenora: I love lasers! I’m not at the age where I need a facelift yet, but I’ve already started saving for when the day comes. Threads are the only thing I have no interest in. I’ve seen it go really wrong, so it’s just not for me.
Alyson: I don’t know much about peels or lasers. Facelifts are extreme and definitely don’t interest me. That being said, I realize that as we grow we evolve, we sometimes change our minds. I might feel differently in 10 plus years!
Lenora, have you ever regretted any treatments or second-guessed them?
Lenora: I had one experience where I had to dissolve filler.
Alyson, you do facial acupuncture. Do you think there’s a difference between that and doing Botox or other treatments?
Alyson: Cosmetic acupuncture works similarly to microneedling, as it creates a mini trauma in the skin to promote blood circulation and collagen production. It can be an excellent treatment for reducing fine lines and giving skin a natural glow. It’s a slower process than Botox—it takes 6-10 treatments to see real results.
I perform this treatment as an alternative to Botox, but I also see patients between their Botox treatments to help prolong the effects. I’ve given myself many cosmetic acupuncture treatments over the years, and I believe that’s contributed greatly to why I have minimal wrinkles for my age.
There can be a lot of shame around women getting aesthetic treatments, but at the same time there’s an expectation for women to look youthful forever. What are your thoughts on this?
Lenora: I think life is hard and people should do whatever feels good. For some, that’s embracing themselves exactly as they are, and for others it’s with enhancements. I just think we need to give people grace and support whatever choices they’ve made.
Alyson: It’s frustrating that there’s so much judgment in our society on appearance, especially when it comes to aging women. But I do see a slow shift happening, with greater acceptance of aesthetic treatments and women aging naturally. Really it comes down to the individual. We all have the right to do what we want with our bodies, but we should be doing it for ourselves, not because it’s what society wants from us.
Lately, it seems like aging is becoming “trendy” with celebrities commenting on it recently. Does that change your perspective at all?
Lenora: I love seeing beauty brands being more inclusive! Most of my favorite glamour icons are actually older than me.
Alyson: I don’t really follow celebrity trends, but again, we need to do what we want for ourselves, not for what’s trending or popular. Enhancements in any form should come from a place of self expression, not for fitting in with society, celebrities or our peers.
In our culture, we fear death. Do you think trying to prevent the process of aging helps us deal with associating it with death? Or do you think it’s strictly aesthetic?
Lenora: I think that running towards youth and perceived vitality are absolutely ways to trick ourselves into feeling we are far away from the inevitable. I also think it’s nice to apply makeup and not get it stuck in my forehead creases, so thank you, Botox!
Alyson: I think that could have something to do with it. Aging is a reminder that death is a big part of life. For instance, I don’t feel 45. Aging reminds us all of our own mortality. The wrinkles are scars of the past.
I think it’s most likely a combo: People are subconsciously trying to not to think about their own mortality, and at the same time, they’re trying to live in the moment and feel as beautiful as possible while doing so!
The views expressed in this article do not necessarily represent the views of Murad, and are for informational purposes only, even if the advice of physicians and medical practitioners are included. This article is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, and should not be considered specific medical advice.
