{"id":6349,"date":"2023-03-15T07:11:21","date_gmt":"2023-03-15T14:11:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/?p=6349"},"modified":"2023-03-16T12:49:38","modified_gmt":"2023-03-16T19:49:38","slug":"what-does-self-care-even-mean-these-days-spoiler-alert-its-not-what-you-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/what-does-self-care-even-mean-these-days-spoiler-alert-its-not-what-you-think\/","title":{"rendered":"What does self-care even mean these days? Spoiler alert: It’s not what you think"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Skincare routines. Shopping. Long showers<\/a>. Depending on who you ask, self-care can mean anything. Without a clear definition, it can be confusing to know if you’re “self-caring” correctly. So we tapped doctor of clinical psychology Dr. Courtney Tracy,<\/a> otherwise known as The Truth Doctor,<\/a> to explain all the nuances of self-care and self-love, including how to identify it, how to make sure it’s genuine and how to practice it even when you’re spiraling. <\/p>\n\n\n

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Why is self-love\/self-kindness\/the relationship you have with yourself so important? <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Tracy<\/em>: When you love something, you take care of it. You tend to it, nurture it, do things to make it grow. Love allows you to see the boundaries, tools and ingredients needed for something to flourish. When we don\u2019t have that love towards ourselves, our health tends to diminish. The relationship you have with yourself is so important because you are the one who spends the most time with yourself. You know what you need, and how you feel, more than anyone else does. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

RuPaul<\/a> has a famous tagline: \u201cIf you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?\u201d Is it true that if you don\u2019t practice self-love, it can affect your other relationships? How?<\/em>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Tracy<\/em>: I understand why people tend to throw around this phrase. It\u2019s usually said as, \u201cYou can\u2019t love someone until you love yourself,\u201d and this just isn\u2019t true if you really get down to the nuance within the statement. There are different types of love. You can easily not love yourself kindly or compassionately, but can love someone else that way. (I\u2019m thinking about parents as an example here: They love their kids unconditionally yet can beat themselves up in their heads over the smallest thing). <\/p>\n\n\n\n

What self-love does is it allows you to see what health and safety looks like for yourself in your own life. Then, when you\u2019re able to see that for yourself, you\u2019re usually more capable of supporting health and safety in another human being. Another side of this is that when you\u2019re able to deeply know and accept yourself, you\u2019re more able to do this with other people. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is internal validation the key to happiness?<\/em> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Tracy<\/em>: Internal validation is not the key to happiness, but it can be a piece of a key that unlocks the ability to feel happy. The goal of life is not to feel happy all the time. Happiness feels like happiness because it can be contrasted against other feelings. So, we want the ability to feel<\/em> happiness, and internal validation is one way to do that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our thoughts and the amount of emotions we allow ourselves to internally experience impact our well-being. I\u2019d say the true beneficial aspect of \u201cvalidating\u201d feelings and thoughts isn\u2019t the validation itself. It\u2019s that we actually allow ourselves to feel and think the things we feel and think, and this creates less crowding in our lives and sense of self which, in turn, makes more room for happiness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

From advertisements to influencers, we\u2019re bombarded with images of “perfect” people, with covetable skin, bodies and lifestyles. Even though in the back of our mind, we know these images are often photoshopped and\/or heavily staged, they can still make us feel bad about ourselves. In your professional opinion, how can we come back from spiraling and feeling we\u2019re not \u2018enough\u2019 after seeing these images? <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Tracy<\/em>: We\u2019re on our way out of BS advertising that makes people feel like if they don\u2019t look like a photo of someone who spent $25K on surgery and $5K on photo editing then we\u2019re failures in life\u2014and I\u2019m here for it. This doesn\u2019t change the fact that we\u2019re still influenced by these targeted media pushes and need to acknowledge that our world boosts this type of beauty. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re in a spiral and feeling not good enough after seeing this type of content, first tend to how you\u2019re feeling in the moment. It\u2019s actually completely appropriate to feel bad about yourself. That\u2019s the goal of much of this type of content. To show you something you don\u2019t have, make you feel like you should have it and can only get it using their products.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s nothing wrong with you, you\u2019re responding the way you\u2019re supposed to respond. Process that, and realize it\u2019s not you\u2014 it\u2019s actually the point of the image. Then, since we can\u2019t change the world in a day, remove access to these images and\/or equalize the playing field. Fill your days with things that combat these images. If your commute to work has 7 billboards all pushing a certain type of beauty, listen to a podcast<\/a> during the ride that breaks down these billboards and removes your ability to unconsciously absorb their messages. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The term “self-care” is all over the place lately. Sometimes the things we think of as “self-care” can also be vices\u2014like shopping or having a glass of wine every night. From a therapist\u2019s perspective, what are your best practices\/tips for pure self-love\/self-care\/self-kindness?<\/em> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dr. Tracy<\/em>: Selfcare includes the basics. It\u2019s not just manicures, wine nights and vacations. It\u2019s also having a consistent hygiene, sleep and movement schedule. It\u2019s doing the things that you do to prevent saying something later in life like, \u201cI wish I took better care of myself\u201d.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Self-kindness involves knowing what\u2019s yours and what\u2019s not\u2014asking questions like \u201cwho first introduced this opinion, topic, perspective or ‘fact’ to me\u2014and why? And do I want to keep it?\u201d We\u2019re constantly absorbing messaging from the outside world, and we need to remember we get to decide what we keep, how we use it and what we provide others in terms of opinions and viewpoints. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The views expressed in this article do not necessarily represent the views of Murad, and are for informational purposes only, even if the advice of physicians and medical practitioners are included. This article is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, and should not be considered specific medical advice.<\/em>\u202f\u202f <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Skincare routines. Shopping. Long showers. Depending on who you ask, self-care can mean anything. Without a clear definition, it can be confusing to know if you’re “self-caring” correctly. So we tapped doctor of clinical psychology Dr. Courtney Tracy, otherwise known as The Truth Doctor, to explain all the nuances of self-care and self-love, including how […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":17,"featured_media":6495,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6349","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mind"],"metadata":{"_edit_lock":["1696008999:21"],"_edit_last":["21"],"adobe_analytics_repeatable":["a:1:{i:0;a:2:{s:4:\"name\";s:0:\"\";s:5:\"value\";s:0:\"\";}}"],"_yoast_wpseo_content_score":["30"],"_yoast_wpseo_estimated-reading-time-minutes":["5"],"show_featured_image":["1"],"_show_featured_image":["field_609ee1cf1ce13"],"primary_category":["2"],"_primary_category":["field_608c33bdd26d5"],"mobile_image":[""],"_mobile_image":["field_60bf7692abe28"],"_post_views_count":["field_6107dfafd6a27"],"sidebar_products_use_global_default":["0"],"_sidebar_products_use_global_default":["field_63a349a11086a"],"sidebar_products_items":[""],"_sidebar_products_items":["field_63a349a110878"],"sidebar_products":[""],"_sidebar_products":["field_63a349a0dadad"],"_yoast_wpseo_primary_category":["2"],"post_views_count":["3363"],"_thumbnail_id":["6495"],"_yoast_wpseo_metadesc":["We tapped \"The Truth Doctor\" to explain all the nuances of selfcare and self-love, including how to practice it even when you're spiraling."],"sidebar_products_title":["Related Products"],"_sidebar_products_title":["field_6408d62123449"],"_wp_old_date":["2023-03-09"],"_yoast_wpseo_focuskw":["selfcare"],"_yoast_wpseo_linkdex":["63"]},"aioseo_notices":[],"acf":{"show_featured_image":true,"primary_category":{"term_id":2,"name":"Mind","slug":"mind","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":2,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":76,"filter":"raw"},"mobile_image":false,"sidebar_products":{"use_global_default":false,"title":"Related Products","items":""},"post_views_count":"3363"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6349","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/users\/17"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6349"}],"version-history":[{"count":35,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6349\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6892,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6349\/revisions\/6892"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/media\/6495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6349"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6349"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6349"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}