{"id":1167,"date":"2021-07-15T10:19:32","date_gmt":"2021-07-15T17:19:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/?p=1167"},"modified":"2025-06-25T16:35:45","modified_gmt":"2025-06-25T23:35:45","slug":"the-1-trait-of-an-optimist-the-toxic-positivity-trend-taking-over-social-media-the-optimism-doctor-answers-all","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/the-1-trait-of-an-optimist-the-toxic-positivity-trend-taking-over-social-media-the-optimism-doctor-answers-all\/","title":{"rendered":"The #1 trait of an optimist? The \u2018toxic positivity\u2019 trend taking over social media? The Optimism Doctor answers all"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cGood vibes only.\u201d \u201cIt could be worse.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re not manifesting enough.\u201d Sound familiar? As the Optimism Doctor, I hear from a lot of distressed patients who have had these platitudes doled out to them time and time again\u2014only to leave them feeling worse. That\u2019s because these blanket \u201cpositive\u201d statements are actually the opposite <\/em>of optimism\u2014they\u2019re likely harmful, insincere notions of optimism known as toxic positivity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before we dive further into that, let\u2019s define optimism<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Most people think that optimism is about being positive and seeing the glass half full all the time. But in reality, a true optimist is someone who recognizes that less-than-ideal situations happen in life, yet they see them as temporary and something they have the ability to overcome\u2014even if they don\u2019t know how yet. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The #1 trait of an optimist is resilience, or the ability to work through perseverance and struggle while holding space for painful emotions like grief, anger, frustration, mourning, anxiety and stress. It\u2019s about allowing yourself to authentically feel those things and where they come from, while staying hopeful and knowing that it\u2019s not permanent. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The second hallmark trait of an optimist is curiosity. It\u2019s being able to ask questions like \u201cI wonder how I will grow from this\u201d or \u201cI wonder what will change from this\u201d during a time of strife, and being inquisitive and open to what the answer might be. Someone who can hold both the struggle of the present with curiosity for the future simultaneously is an optimist. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do you identify toxic positivity? <\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s basically anything that disregards and villifies the normal range of human emotions. Red flags might be sayings like \u201cgood vibes only\u201d or \u201cget over it,\u201d which imply that there\u2019s only room for positive feelings. Humans are meant to experience all the feels, so watch out for anything that disregards or makes you ashamed of having negative feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, I experienced two instances of toxic positivity at the start of the pandemic. The first was when parents were worried about their kids. I kept hearing this phrase, \u201cDon\u2019t worry, kids are resilient.\u201d And yes, they are, but to chalk it up to only that implies we don\u2019t have to be concerned about their emotions because they\u2019ll just get through it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next was when people would say, \u201cIf you\u2019re stressed, you\u2019re just making yourself more susceptible to COVID-19.\u201d This caused some to feel scared of having anxiety about a global pandemic, since others were telling them they were going to get sick from it. This is classic toxic positivity\u2014it comes from good intentions, but it\u2019s misguided because it negates the opportunity to experience all <\/em>emotions. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are some additional toxic positivity-like statements you\u2019ve probably heard before that can be interpreted as dismissive in nature: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

  • Don\u2019t be so negative.<\/li>
  • Just breathe. It\u2019ll all work out.<\/li>
  • Think happy thoughts.<\/li>
  • Everything happens for a reason.<\/li>
  • You\u2019ll get over it.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    How to recognize\u2014and give\u2014non-toxic advice<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    When someone is seeking support or advice, we often think that we need to help them solve a problem, squash their uncomfortable feelings or distract them with thinking about something better. But for the most part, people just want to be heard and have their feelings validated. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    These sincere, truthful and kind responses offer support, while also acknowledging pain and struggle:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    • All vibes welcome.<\/li>
    • This is hard, but you got through hard times before. I believe in you.<\/li>
    • It\u2019s normal to be fearful about that. Is there any good that can come out of the situation?<\/li>
    • I can understand why you’re upset. Is there any way you\u2019ll grow from the situation?<\/li>
    • It\u2019s OK if you haven\u2019t found the silver lining yet. You have time to make sense of it and you will when you\u2019re ready.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      Healthy, positive statements like these that can help lift others (or yourself), while validating the entire spectrum of emotions\u2014good, bad and ugly. So now that you can better spot toxic positivity, consider unfollowing any problematic offenders on social media who claim they\u2019ve manifested their perfect life. We all know there\u2019s no such thing as a \u201cperfect life,\u201d because no one experiences joy 24\/7\u2014and that\u2019s totally, 100% normal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      \u201cGood vibes only.\u201d \u201cIt could be worse.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re not manifesting enough.\u201d Sound familiar? As the Optimism Doctor, I hear from a lot of distressed patients who have had these platitudes doled out to them time and time again\u2014only to leave them feeling worse. That\u2019s because these blanket \u201cpositive\u201d statements are actually the opposite of optimism\u2014they\u2019re […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":28,"featured_media":1180,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1167","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mind"],"metadata":{"_edit_lock":["1750894546:21"],"_edit_last":["21"],"adobe_analytics_repeatable":["a:1:{i:0;a:2:{s:4:\"name\";s:0:\"\";s:5:\"value\";s:0:\"\";}}"],"primary_category":["2"],"_primary_category":["field_608c33bdd26d5"],"show_featured_image":["1"],"_show_featured_image":["field_609ee1cf1ce13"],"_yoast_wpseo_content_score":["30"],"_yoast_wpseo_estimated-reading-time-minutes":["4"],"_yoast_wpseo_primary_category":["2"],"post_views_count":["5617"],"_thumbnail_id":["1180"],"mobile_image":[""],"_mobile_image":["field_60bf7692abe28"],"_post_views_count":["field_6107dfafd6a27"],"sidebar_products_use_global_default":["0"],"_sidebar_products_use_global_default":["field_63a349a11086a"],"sidebar_products_title":["Related Products"],"_sidebar_products_title":["field_6408d62123449"],"sidebar_products_items":[""],"_sidebar_products_items":["field_63a349a110878"],"sidebar_products":[""],"_sidebar_products":["field_63a349a0dadad"],"_yoast_wpseo_title":["When optimism becomes toxic positivity | Murad Skincare"],"_yoast_wpseo_metadesc":["The #1 trait of optimists and why toxic positivity is harmful. Optimism Doctor explains real vs fake positivity on social media."]},"aioseo_notices":[],"acf":{"primary_category":{"term_id":2,"name":"Mind","slug":"mind","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":2,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":76,"filter":"raw"},"show_featured_image":true,"post_views_count":"5617","mobile_image":false,"sidebar_products":{"use_global_default":false,"title":"Related Products","items":""}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/users\/28"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1167"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1167\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13522,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1167\/revisions\/13522"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/media\/1180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wellconnected.murad.com\/api\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}